Eating Disorders/Healing, Guest Posts, Self Image, Self Love, Women

An Open Letter To All Companies Who Body Shame Women.

January 27, 2015

beauty-hunting-jen-logo-black1-300x88By Annie Sertich.

I’ve been so inspired by #thisgirlcan (an ad in Britain to get chicks active age 14-40).

So a few months ago, a bestie Mindy Sterling (actor from Austin Powers), and I were shopping at the Promenade in Santa Monica, California. We went into Joe’s jeans.

A sweet, cute, 20-something girl greeted us. We smiled back. Then after about 15 seconds she said to me, and only me… ’Just so you know we have more sizes in the back.’

“Huh?” I said.

“We have bigger sizes in the back.’ She sweetly said.

I laughed.

**And this is NOT a post fishing for anything other than I needed to share how bummed this made me for women/girls eating gum for dinner. Plus really Joe’s? LAME.

Jen Pastiloff is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Join her in Tuscany for her annual Manifestation Retreat. Click the Tuscan hills above. No yoga experience required. Only requirement: Just be a human being.

Jen Pastiloff is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Join her in Tuscany for her annual Manifestation Retreat. Click the Tuscan hills above. No yoga experience required. Only requirement: Just be a human being.

I went on.

‘So if I want to try this cropped sweatshirt here in a Large, I have to flag you down and get it from the back?’ (Like the brand doesn’t want anyone to know, God forbid it fits someone with tits/shoulders/or sometimes eats too much in front of bad tv?)

‘Sorry,’ she went on to say, ‘It’s store policy. We are like a boutique. We just put out a few of each item.’

‘In ONLY size xs, s, and a few mediums’ I ask. Oh, is it because of space? Right Joe’s. Tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself. So you wanna make me feel like a hassle. I can’t just fit in like the small’s.

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“There ARE a couple of larges on the floor’ and she waved at a tee-shirt stack and a candle. (Okay, maybe not a candle, but you get it).

Today I watched the emaciated anorexic women weigh herself at my Fancy Gym like she does every day. And the mean stink face woman work out for hours and hours who can’t crack a smile. She might catch my jiggle. And the sad women with the yoga mats. Sad, sad Santa Monica women with yoga mats and BMWs.

I got sad for women.

Is it my fault I went into a high end boutique that doesn’t fit my body type? Maybe.

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Is that what I get for shopping with a tiny pint-sized funny fairy like Mindy then I look like her troll-sized body guard? Maybe.

Or should I just hate myself because I don’t have space between my thighs. Yep. I should.

I don’t know. The last time I checked my man didn’t even care what brand my jeans were as long as I was…

…happy.

Like a bad audition you do later in your car, here’s my ‘car version’ of what I would have said to sweet Joe’s sales girl:

-Do you carry size ‘Bad Ass?’

-What size you think my heart is?

-What about the naturally thin girls who just have long legs or long torsos and need a ‘bigger’ size?

-My super-sized big ginormous ass held me up when I had to walk behind my father’s casket.

-My large shoulders were a good place for some friends to cry on of late.

-Do you live in a hole and not see young girls get bullied for their size?

-And come on. Don’t you think I would have figured out that you didn’t have my size? Like, I see my body everyday! DUH! Did you have to ‘politely’ remind me? Don’t hide behind ‘store policy.’ Make a stand. Don’t work there.

-If there is a curvy brand for your jeans, don’t you think I would have found them on the floor without sweet sales girl reminding me they might exist somewhere behind the magical Fat Oz doors?

On their website it says…’Joe’s is best known for pioneering the concept of fits catered to specific body types.’ Specific, I guess, means not me.

Your store policy sucks. Put all the sizes out. Or put all the sizes in the back.

Or don’t and just keep on making girls feel shitty for being born with a body.

 

*Please leave your comments below letting us know any experiences you have had with feeling body shamed. Please share! #effyourbeautystandards

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Check out Annie’s one woman show Feb 10th! Space is limited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Annie Sertich is a main company member of The Groundlings where she performs regularly. Check out her show by clicking the above poster!
Recent credits: USA’S new show BENCHED, THE BOUNCE BACK (Feature Film out this year), DR. BROWN PILOT (FX presentation), TABLE 58 (Amazon pilot), THE TONIGHT SHOW (regular correspondent), PLAYING HOUSE, CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, 2 BROKE GIRLS, THE GUILD (web), THE OFFICE. Alum Mindy Sterling and Annie created/wrote/voiced MEERKATS (an animated pilot for Nickelodeon) and now are writing a not-so-kid’s pilot. Annie also wrote for DISNEY, MTV, IFC, and just completed a comedic and dark memoir out soon.

Join Jen Pastiloff, the founder of The Manifest-Station, in The Berkshires of Western Massachusetts in Feb of 2015 for a weekend on being human. It involves writing and some yoga. In a word: it's magical.

Join Jen Pastiloff, the founder of The Manifest-Station, in The Berkshires of Western Massachusetts in Feb of 2015 for a weekend on being human. It involves writing and some yoga. In a word: it’s magical.

Featured image of Tess Munster: girlieshowphotography.com.

 

A list of all upcoming workshops including: Seattle, London, Dallas, NYC, Atlanta, Princeton, Chicago, Philadelphia and more. Click poster.

A list of all upcoming workshops including: Seattle, London, Dallas, NYC, Atlanta, Princeton, Chicago, Philadelphia and more. Click poster.

 

 

 

Contact Rachel Pastiloff for health coaching, weight loss, strategies, recipes, detoxes, cleanses or help getting off sugar. Click here or email rachyrachp@gmail.com.

Contact Rachel Pastiloff for health coaching, strategies, recipes, detoxes, cleanses or help getting off sugar. Click here or email rachyrachp@gmail.com.

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17 Comments

  • Reply Barbara Potter January 27, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    Annie this is the best yet. Done perfectly. Years ago in my late 30’s in California. I was somewhere looking for a workout video and the girl working there walked up to me and said “Oh the prenatal workout videos are over there”. What!!!! I said nothing but I was mortified. I was really fit and not teeny, tiny as that is not my body type, but prenatal! People just have to learn.

    • Reply annie January 27, 2015 at 7:08 pm

      Are you serious? She’s lucky you didn’t punch her in the baby maker! I adore you!

      • Reply Barbara Potter January 27, 2015 at 7:12 pm

        Thank you for speaking your truth. You rock.

  • Reply Me January 27, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Stores and shopping are the bane of my existence. They are never consistent with sizes anyways… and then there are so many stores that only fit THEIR “ideal” body type and are very vocal about it. I try to ignore salespeople whenever I can.

    Body shame really is everywhere.

    This isn’t exactly the same, but this piece made me think of this: I’ve been in a position over the past year where I’ve lost a lot of weight, and I’ve gotten so many mixed reactions when I’ve ranted to friends about this… but I hate the “OMG, how much weight have you lost?!” when I see someone I haven’t seen since I started losing weight.
    It’s annoying cuz… none of your f*cking business?
    It’s annoying cuz… I don’t believe in scales and I don’t actually weigh myself and I go by how I feel physically, and emotionally how I feel about the choices I’ve been making. So I don’t actually KNOW how much weight I’ve lost (so why should YOU?)

    We don’t walk up to women on the street and ask them how much they weigh or what size they wear… why is it okay to ask how much weight someone has lost? And why is that SO important?
    I’ve had someone say to me, “Oh, people are just inspired, and they just want to know!” If you are inspired, ask me about it in a different way, especially if I hardly know you.
    One man said to me, “I’ve noticed a change in you, what have you been doing differently?” – I was totally okay with this and had a great conversation with him.

    Here’s the thing: It is very hard for me to have any kind of conversation about my body, my weight, my food, etc. Those things are all very triggering. I know I am not the only person who struggles with this.

    But also, those things aren’t important, are they? I would way rather someone ask me… how kind I’ve been in the past year, or what goals I’ve met recently, or what my dreams are. My body is not anybody else’s business.

    • Reply annie January 27, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Right on ‘ME!’ What are your dreams? That’s way more interesting that the scientific ratio of x to y to z in your body make-up!

  • Reply Mandi January 27, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Ah. The line – What size do you think my heart is? made my heart flip flop over itself with sadness.

    • Reply annie January 27, 2015 at 7:11 pm

      Thanks for reading Mandi. Yeah, I get you.

  • Reply CaroG87 January 28, 2015 at 4:04 am

    Yes. And for those of us who’ve lost the weight and STILL have a crappy relationship with our bodies. For those of us who still have to try on EVERY piece of clothing because one designer/brand’s 10 is another’s 16. For ad folks who think our shame, guilt, etc. equals more revenue. :'(

  • Reply Tessa January 28, 2015 at 10:11 am

    GREAT WRITING!!! And since I know you personally, may I add that you are NORMAL SIZED?! (That store must be for Liliputians!) So don’t even TRY with the Mindy’s body guard bit! Although it’s funny as F. Love you! Thanks for standing up for Girls Everywhere.

    • Reply annie January 28, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      Oh you…thanks beauty! And thanks for reading!

  • Reply Katie January 28, 2015 at 10:48 am

    I really enjoyed reading your blog. I think that you make a valid point. It is not right for clothing stores to make women feel like that have to fit in a certain size to feel beautiful. They should have clothes for all shapes and sizes. Women should feel beautiful in their own skin no matter what there size is.

    • Reply annie January 28, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      Totally Katie! And thanks!

  • Reply Kimberly Wilson January 28, 2015 at 11:15 am

    Waking up every morning with a “Hang in there” cat poster above my bed helps me ignore the haters. 🙂 Also, it does remind me to hang in there because life is hard, and even if I did lose a bunch of weight it would take YEARS and YEARS for the paranoia to die. “Are they watching my fat as walk away? Can they see that frozen pizza and soda hidden under the fruits and vegetables? Is the outline of my Spanx showing through my skirt?”

    What do the thin worry about?

    • Reply annie January 28, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      Thanks for the comment Kimberly! I know I worry about being vulnerable/judged. I used to think if anyone asked why I was buying cookie dough I would say, ‘…it’s for my kid’s school.’ Uh…I don’t have kids.

  • Reply Renee Greiner January 29, 2015 at 10:17 am

    Annie,
    Thank you for making me laugh. This was great.

    Renee

    • Reply annie January 29, 2015 at 7:39 pm

      Thank YOU Renee! Great profile pic!

  • Reply Ari January 30, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Love, love, love this. So much truth!

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