By Kim Valzania
When she was 5 she learned that when a boy hits you on the playground what it really means is that he likes you. Richard belted her in the arm at the top of the slide. She didn’t cry and she didn’t tell the teacher. But boy did it hurt, and it left a bruise. Her little friend whispered, “he likes you” but when she told her daddy he said that if it ever happened again, she should make a tight fist and hit Richard back, only harder. “Right in the nose is always an option.”
When she was 6 she learned that even a daddy is afraid sometimes. She discovered just how fast her daddy could run. A lying, little, sneak of a neighbor falsely declared that her brother had fallen into a well, up in the woods. Her daddy, her terrified hero of a daddy, could have qualified for the Olympics that day. And he almost had a heart attack.
When she was 7 she knew for sure that she wanted to look exactly like Barbie when she grew up. She practiced by walking around on her tip toes. She wanted to have the tiniest waist, and a closet full of clothes. She wanted to live in a dream house, play at the beach, and drive a red corvette. Today she is living proof that those dreams can and do come true.
When she was 8 she learned that if she cut her hair super short like a boy, everyone would start thinking she was a boy and everyone in the neighborhood (even her own family!) would start treating her like a boy and she herself would start acting like a boy. She even got into a dirt-pile scuffle that involved a bit of rock throwing with above-mentioned lying, sneak of a neighbor. It was fun for a while.
When she was 9 she learned how to hurt her little sister’s feelings. All she had to do was tell her she smelled like a cow, refuse to play with her, mess with her animal collection, and slam the bedroom door in her face. She was wild, mean, and a little bit violent. Do make note that she later apologized for said bad behavior. Sometimes being a boy wasn’t easy.
When she was 10 she became suspicious that her daddy would ask her to go ice fishing with him just so he could legally put out more tip-ups and bring home more fish. When she realized this was indeed true, as in he didn’t deny it true, she was okay with it. Sort of. Continue Reading…
