Inspiration, Yoga

What Can You Re-Commit To?

April 30, 2012

Sometimes love is a choice.

I have some friends who have been married for over 15 years. They have been going through a hard time lately. Talk of divorce in the air. I am friends with both of them and have been offering an ear to each. One question which came up for me in light of their issues is this:

Can love be a choice?

I get it. After years of being married, after the kids, after having sex with the same person over and over (and over), you may get a little bored. Or, you shift in ways that are incomprehensible to your partner. Whatever it may be, the air becomes stale and at times, resentful and heavy. Like a slow suffocation.

Like a savasana that goes on and on and on and on.

And on.

What do I know? I have only been married two years. (Above photo was from my wedding celebration held at a yoga studio.)

But I do know that I have had this come up for me with other things in my own life.

I am committed these days to being my most honest self so here it goes.

I had fallen out of love with my own yoga practice.

There. I said it.

And yes, I make my living as a yoga teacher.

I have been working so much that the last thing I want to do is hear someone else tell me to lift my right leg or to shift into plank position. (Add the fact that, because of my hearing loss I cannot hear what the teacher says anyway, so when they say lift your right leg I am always the one lifting my left leg.)

I had grown resentful of it as if it had been my lover and had cheated on me. I rolled my eyes at it and gave it dirty looks and gossiped about it. I hated that I couldn’t hear what the teacher was saying and that I would end up feeling lost in a sea of Pincha Mayurasanas. (That is forearm balance for the laymen.) As in any relationship, miscommunication is where many problems arise.

Ah, my sweet beloved yoga practice that I once loved. I once was so obsessed with you that I dreamt of you often and changed my whole life to be closer to you.

What happened?

I will tell you what happened.

Life happened. 

Human being-ness happened.

I am using my yoga practice as an example, but you can insert your loved one or your job or your wife or whatever relationship it may be, and you will find the equation to be very similar.

Lack of Gratitude + Overworking + Not Showing Up To The Party+ Miscommunication =  the opposite of feeling in love.

1) I started taking my yoga practice for granted. I stopped being grateful for it.

2) I overworked myself so I had nothing left for me. When it came time for me-time, the last thing I wanted to do was my own yoga practice because I had taught so many times during the day that even the look of a yoga mat made me want to scream. (Sometimes I did scream.)

3) I got too comfortable not doing yoga. The hardest part is getting onto the mat. This. Is. True.

Just show up.

I am committed to falling BACK in love with… my own yoga practice.

Like all relationships, sometimes a little re-invention is needed.

A little coaxing, willingness, a gentle nudge, a sh*tload of commitment. Sometimes we get burnt out and we need to fall in love all over again. I believe this is possible.

The first step = We need to make a choice to commit. 

We need to dress up a little and have a hot date night. Or, in my case, a “yoga night” to re-ignite that fire.

We need to talk about it. Today, I am admitting my burnt-outedness and my  falling-out-of-lovedness. Once I got it out in the open and stopped being ashamed about it, I felt better. It was like a badge of Dis-Honor I was wearing on my heart. Once I talked about it to my teacher (thank you Annie Carpenter) and wrote about it here, I felt more human. I felt more connected to other people who have in fact fallen out of love with things they once were married to. (Or, at least were sleeping with.)

I am ready to get back into bed with my yoga practice.

I can choose to re-wire my thoughts so I once again feel passionate about my yoga practice. (You can do these same things with any relationship.)

I can make my schedule less jam packed so that I no longer feel nauseous at the idea of Downward dog. 

I can find new things that I love about my yoga practice. They may not be the things I fell in love with years ago. That’s ok. We have both grown older or wiser. ( I have grown older and Yoga has grown wiser.)
Where can you recommit in your own life? Answer below in the comment section.


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No Comments

  • Reply barbarapotter April 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Beautiful. Love this.

  • Reply Enlighten Up World April 30, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    I love this Jennifer. Really well said. Our businesses and practices (and I’m saying that for me and my thetahealing practice, this post REALLY hits home tonight as I am exhausted and looking at my calendar), they are truly to be looked at as our lovers if we are to live a life of authenticity and passion. Bravo. Thank you for so eloquently saying what we often don’t dare to say out loud. You are awesOMe. <3 I recommit to falling in love with my practice again now and into this summer, as new faces and places emerge from the beautiful souls I have the privilege of connecting with again and again. In deep gratitude this evening. To my family, my business and to you.

  • Reply CGL Warrior April 30, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    This is raw and real and I love it! Thank you so much Jen for always saying what I feel sad to say! Your amazing!

  • Reply CGL Warrior April 30, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    I need to recommit to everything I loved when I was “single in the city!” Life has a funny way of changing without you even realizing. I’m blessed to be where I but I need to fall in love with yoga again! Thank you Jen for saying what I’ve not been able to say…love you!

  • Reply Frank Gjata April 30, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Beautiful. So chock full of goodies! Love the “miscommunication” concept applied to things we don’t usually think about in that way…like your yoga practice. Brilliant. And so true…how do we miscommunicate, misconstrue or make stories about different aspects of our life? I also loved that once you faced the truth about it, everything shifted and you felt connected again. (You know I’m a big fan of acknowledging what is;-) I’ve seen this work wonders time and time again. If we feel disconnected to someone (or ourselves) and we acknowledge it, we will automatically feel connected…even if we’re connecting on our dis-connection! Thank you Jen!

  • Reply lhotsem42 April 30, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Love it! Thank you, as always, my friend. I might add, as they old saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Nothing like taking a bit space or time away to reflect on what it is you adore about yoga or your love. A vacation or a controlled separation can allow you the distance you need to miss what you really love about them. Ease back in and date, rekindle, and allow that fun crystallization period, where there are no faults, excuses or complaints, to capture your heart renewed from time apart.

  • Reply lhotsem42 April 30, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    Oh, and by the way, welcome back, baby!

  • Reply Elise Ballard April 30, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    I heart you, oh wise and committed one…thank you for this. it’s so so true. xo

  • Reply Frances Malone, HTP May 1, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Thank you – I will be married 40 years come September and we have remade ourselves several times – moved cities – had children – moved children in and out – and our love lasts…

    I am a Healing Touch Practitioner and today my waking intention was to find something to immerse myself into and your post certainly stirred that intention. Thank you for sharing because you are not alone and you are an inspiration.

    Namaste’

  • Reply wifeywulfy May 1, 2012 at 7:40 am

    Good one! A creative way to spin it! Love is a verb and therefore a choice, Kia’s advice was to continually, consciously chose everyday. Love that and you!

  • Reply nikky44 May 1, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    16 of marriage, the crisis is going on. I don’t know if making new commitments help, but maybe it’s worth trying? I don’t know

    • Reply ManifestYogaJen May 3, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      Love you

      • Reply nikky44 May 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

        Thank you. That’s what I needed to hear right now. Thank you very much, and I love you too.

  • Reply K.O. Yoga May 3, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Love this! Teaching less actually shifted me back to loving my own practice more… I went through a phase of being way less into practicing yoga. I think being ok with that is a big part 🙂

  • Reply Madelain Burgoyne May 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    Loved this.

    Struggled with both my yoga practice and my husband.
    One thing I learned I’d that you can be in a relationship and in control.
    This journey of falling out of love is deffinately one that is neccesary! It shows that all thing we take on in life can spiral out of control if we don’t nuture them carefylly and not just that we chose wrong.

    Thank u for this wonderful read!
    Ox
    Mads

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