Daily Manifestation Challenge

Daily Manifestation Challenge: Are You Addicted to “Like”?

May 31, 2012

The real question is this: Where can you be honest with yourself? Where can you be the most honest you that you have ever been?

Yesterday I rode my bike, along with my dear friend Laura, to Redondo Beach.

From Santa Monica.

Thank God The Redondo Beach Pier had those awesome fish tacos and pints of beer or I wouldn’t have made it back. ( Not joking.) 34 miles is a long haul, folks. A long haul.

I had a lot of time to think. To just be.

Here is my honesty for the day, my second Confession in the Confession Series. (click to read Confession about sucking my thumb.)

I realized I am addicted to likes. To clicks. 

I am addicted to Like.

Like the song Addicted To Love. Just change it to Like.

I post a blog. And then I check every few minutes to see how it’s doing. Did they like it? Do they like me? ( Who, in the name of God, are “they”?)

Am I good enough?

I am being honest here, so I am breaking down what it really means.

I have become a slave to my phone and computer, so dialed in and over-connected all the time.  Yesterday as I rode all those miles and looked out at the ocean I thought about how great it felt to be off the grid. To not care one way or the other what was going on in the world beyond that moment, there on my bike.

I am being raw and looking deep within the caves of Jennifer that are not to be found on Facebook or Twitter.

It’s not a conscious thing I am talking about. It’s something I realized there on my beach cruiser with the orange basket in front and fishing rod in back; this need for connection and approval to make me feel good about myself.

We all want to be liked. That’s natural. 

The reality? Not everyone will like us.

That’s ok. It’s usually not about us anyway, and, even if it is, it doesn’t matter. It’s their opinion to have, whoever they are.

I was with my private client last week and Bruce Springsteen was in the background singing one of my favorites, “My Hometown.” I looked over at him and asked: Are you a Bruce fan?

Him: Nah.

Me: Really?

So I realized that if you plug in your favorite artist or singer or anyone that you think is the best there is, you will always find someone that says: They suck.

How can you not be a Bruce fan? I thought and was truly baffled.

So there will always be someone that doesn’t like Bruce or Snow Patrol or your favorite band or artist. Helps you get over the fact that not all people will like you, right?

So back to the honesty question. Where can you be really honest with yourself?

A confession, if you will.

Mine is: I am an addict.

My last post on one of the many sites I write for got a hundred plus comments but only a thousand “likes.”

Do you know that I actually spent time thinking about this?

Comparing myself to other people? Wondering why more people hadn’t clicked “like” on something that was so personal, so important to me? Something that I had spent so much time on and which I thought was really good? What if the website didn’t publish me anymore? What if it means something, this only a “thousand likes” business?

And you know what? The what if’s, when you spell them out and look them square in the jaw, end up being small little things that get filed under “Irrelevant” in your Life File, along with getting into a “perfect” yoga pose or being the “perfect” weight.

I caught myself in my own trap.

I have become tethered to something that is, in no way, shape, or form: real.

I have allowed it.

I have become a junkie to people validating me.

It’s easy to happen.

Everything has a like button so how can we start to not feel as if it a personal sign we are wearing?

Like me? Please, please click “like”? Vote for me? “Like” me and I will believe I am good enough and if you don’t like me then I will feel worthless.

It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

So, now what?

I am honest with it, now what? I am looking at it. I am “being with it” as they say. Now what?

So, here’s what: I shut the computer. I go sit with my husband and have a nice meal and a glass of wine. I let go of any notion that my self worth is connected to how many Facebook fans I have, how many likes I have on a post, how many tweets or pinterests or shmiterests. I let myself sit and be like I am on a bike with not a care in the world except how far away the dang Pier is, with it’s fish tacos and beer.

Where can you be honest with yourself? That’s Today’s Daily Manifestation Challenge or DMC. Come on and take it! Answer below. I know it is scary, but it feels so so good.

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No Comments

  • Reply jamesvincentknowles May 31, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    hahaha… I was laughing out loud as I just clicked the “like” button~! Of all the people I’ve ever met, Jennifer, you’re the one who ought to have a one-time “I really love Jennifer button even when she’s a goofball” button for people who love you. It might make you feel better~! (I’m still laughing because I think all creative, kind-hearted, generous, empathic, gigantic-hearted, truly compassionate, really-really real people (such as yourself) sometimes just don’t realize how amazingly lovable they are and how much we all need you to like us~! hahaha…. sheesh~! Goofball~!

  • Reply barbarapotter May 31, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Wow I know that feeling and how it grabs us so thank you for reminding me. So important

  • Reply nancy rattle May 31, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Darlin’ girl …. life is not a popularity contest, although most of us encounter and experience the challenges of subjective choice between being ‘liked’ and being true to ourselves for much of our lives on this plane. You’re going to be a great crone! You ask all of the right questions to find the right answers for you. Keep on keeping on. The reward is worth the effort …. finding home inside your own skin! You are absolutely wonderful just as you are.

    big hug,

    nancy

    • Reply ManifestYogaJen May 31, 2012 at 9:31 pm

      Aww thanks. I know this, i really do. I share my insights in hopes to inspire others to look within… I do get it. Maybe more than I let on.

      I am just human at times..

      and social media is a beast..

    • Reply nancy rattle May 31, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      precisely why I don’t do facebook …. who REALLY needs it?

      • Reply ManifestYogaJen May 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm

        yea. I know xx

      • Reply ManifestYogaJen May 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm

        it does help me a ton. My retreats and workshops.. trust me… I am very grateful…. very!

        • Reply nancy rattle May 31, 2012 at 11:24 pm

          yep … admittedly, it’s great for advertising your talents and specialties from a commercial viewpoint, but you are already personally successful. Stop …. take a deep breath …. rest and restore. I know, so easy to say. But I have grey hair, so I feel comformtable sharing this little bit of wisdom with you. Don’t fight the tides. In the end, we’re left with our degrees of internal knowing and acceptance, no matter what else we have tried to accomplish.

  • Reply simpleehealthy May 31, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Jennifer, if there was a “love” – I would click that.
    First, I did part of that ride this weekend. Only Santa Monica to the 2 second big smoke stack. I was mad sore. Kudos to you for doing it on a beach cruiser! I had gears and those hills got to be to much 🙂
    Second, I’m new(ish) to the whole social media thing. I’m up to 75 twitter followers and 6 blog followers. I seriously check constantly and feel excited if I get one. And rejected that I don’t have more. I guess it’s all relative – I would love 100 comments, 1000 likes – or to be published anywhere! That should tell you how many people read what you write. I know I always click when I see a new post from you has gone up. Even though I’m new I found you pretty quickly and you always deliver good stuff to think about.
    Hope you enjoy your evening with your husband & Thanks for reminding me to unplug 🙂
    -Lee

  • Reply annie May 31, 2012 at 10:59 pm

    I DISLIKE YOU. 🙂

    My latest challenge…post on my blog, and put up my internet videos and turn off the comments.

    But really, I LOVE YOU. 🙂

    xx
    Muffin Maid

  • Reply robin June 1, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Thanks for sharing this. I’ve struggled with needing to be liked…always wanting the approval of not just those who I care about, but of everyone. Then one day it occurred to me that I don’t like everyone. It’s nothing to do with them…perfectly great people who I just don’t mesh with. But it doesn’t mean that I DISlike them. I still want to be liked, but being able to see that helps.

  • Reply Vanessa June 1, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Okay trying this again since it wouldn’t post for some reason last night:

    Wow this cuts straight to the truth and I love it! Definitely something I have struggled with for years being in the performing arts industry. The constant need for approval from others: “did they like my interpretation of the piece of music” “did I make the audience happy” “was I good enough for them”. I put all my self worth into the hands of others, which is scary. Here’s my honest moment: who gives a shit how others might ‘score/grade’ my musical ability, what matters that I have fun doing it, am passionate and play my heart out! Thanks for sharing, love you 🙂

  • Reply izzysagenda June 1, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    You’ve hit the nail on the head! This is me exactly. I would even go so far as to say that I’m obsessed – addiction in overdrive. I’m relatively new to social networking sites, but in just a few short months, they have got me well and truly hooked. After a few weeks of constant internetting -literally day and night- I have to switch the computer off and do something completely different for a few days. And to think that people use these sites for years on end, day after day, year after year! Perhaps they all take time ‘off the grid’. I know I’m going to need to do so regularly if I keep on with this networking thing.
    This morning I’m wondering if it isn’t just a diversion to take us away from living life to the full. I spend hours a day sitting at my laptop. It’s the first thing I do each morning, whereas I used to spend some time in meditation when I woke. That truly set me up for the day.
    Hm. I think I need to give some thought to this. Thank you for the nudge. Most welcome! Blessings from Izzy xx

  • Reply Friday Recap | Life In The Rearview Mirror June 8, 2012 at 3:16 am

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