And So It Is, Beating Fear with a Stick, Daily Manifestation Challenge

Annoying & Superficial.

October 9, 2012

Did that get your attention?

It got mine.

Earlier today, as I was home with a cold, nursing it so I didn’t have to relive the horror I experienced in Italy with getting sick like a dying dog, I amused myself by playing on the computer and reading. I found a funny E-card (a lot of them are really funny!) and it resonated me with (sadly) so I posted it. I thought it was hysterical.

Here it is:

Anyone who knows me well, knows my slight addiction (okay, not so slight) to my iPhone. Needless to say, I thought it was cute and funny so I shared it on my fanpage on Facebook, which, incidentally says “Jennifer Pastiloff Yoga.”

The irony of this story I am about to tell is not lost on me. Just this morning I was once again fretting that my page with almost 7 thousand “fans” says “Jennifer Pastiloff Yoga” and not just “Jennifer Pastiloff” as if the yoga part limits me. As if it will make me not a real writer, but a wannabe yoga teacher/writer. Once you get over 100 “fans” you can’t change a name. C’est l’avie.

Except I obsess on it. Like it matters.

(It doesn’t. Not really.)

Anyway, I post funny iPhone picture (see above) and a girl who I have never met and who apparently lives in The Netherlands (I told the story in class and by sheer Freudian slip called it Neverlands) posted under it: OMG! You are too annoying and superficial to be a yoga inspiration.

What the what?

You are in my house, woman!

She is on my page. Why even comment? Don’t like it? Ignore it. Don’t like me? Don’t like my page!

I looked her up and her profile had one quote. A Mother Theresa quote on love: “I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love” and her religious views as love and peace written over and over again.

Where is the congruency? 

Of course it made a few things happen inside of me.

1) Question myself.

Until I got how absurd that was. The fact that I was letting a woman (who knows if she is a woman. It could be a fake profile) whom I have never met, determine how I feel about myself.

2) It had me look at where I am not being congruent.

Where I am posting love and peace love and peace love and peace and yet living hate and gossip? It was actually a little gift because I chuckled at her quotes, not because I was making fun of her but because I thought: we all do this. To some degree, we all have discrepancy in our lives. Maybe not that big. Maybe you would never post on someone’s Facebook or the equivalent how annoying and superficial they are. But still.

3) How I defended myself and I NEVER need to do that.

Under the said picture I wrote ‘how important it was for you to have a sense of humor in my world and in my class bla bla bla’. The thing is, I didn’t need to say that. Or think it. I was defending myself to someone who is not in my tribe, who in no way has any bearing on my life, who said something that actually has nothing to do with me.

4) How happy I felt that I was a kind person and that I attract kind people.

After she wrote that I wrote the following on my page:

Find Your Tribe.

You know, the ones that make you feel the most YOU. The ones that lift you up and help you remember who really are. The ones that remind you that a blip in the road is just that, a blip, and not to mistake it for an earthquake and even it were to be an earthquake they’d be there with the Earthquake Emergency Supply Kit. They are the ones that when you walk out of a room, they make you feel like a better person than when you walked in. They are the ones that even if you don’t see them face to face as often as you’d like, you see them heart to heart. You know, that kind of tribe?

She is not in my tribe. Why do we spend time on the people who don’t like us? I certainly can’t be the only one?

So I am happy she wrote that I was superficial and annoying. It made me dig deep.

As far as being a yoga inspiration? She made that up. I never said dem words!

As Wayne Dyer says: If you meet 200 people you will have 200 reputations.

I know who I am.

That’s all that matters.

I will tell you right now who I am if you tell me below. Will you? Start the sentence with I am _____.

Here goes: I am compassionate, empathetic, sloppy, disorganized, witty, perceptive, pretty deaf, someone who loves sleep, wine and coffee, a yoga teacher, inspiring, distracted, a lover of her phone and being overly connected to a fault, loyal, sometimes obsessive, a healer, a connector, a manifester, authentic, nostalgiac, sensitive, moody and a writer.

Where can you own who you are and live with congruency?

Take the challenge. I am. xo, Jen

Poster by Pre-order their book (which I am in!!): Subscribe for more:

Poster by
Pre-order their book (which I am in!!):
Subscribe for more:

Thank you for this!

*update: since the writing of this blog, Facebook has indeed changed the name of my page and dropped the Yoga bit. But, at the end of the day, it did not matter. 

Jennifer Pastiloff, Beauty Hunter, is the founder of The Manifest-Station. Her work has been featured on The Rumpus, The Nervous Breakdown, Jezebel, Salon, among others. Jen’s leading one of her signature retreats to Ojai, Calif. over New Years. Check out for all retreat listings and workshops to attend one in a city near you. Next up: South Dakota, NYC, Dallas, Kripalu Center For Yoga & Health, Tuscany. She is also leading a Writing + The Body Retreat with Lidia Yuknavitch Jan 30-Feb 1 in Ojai (2 spots left.) She tweets/instagrams at @jenpastiloff.

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  • Reply Chelle aka Writer Yogi October 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    1. I am really glad random person on fb with nothing better to do didn’t get to you. It’s good when we can see the positive in a negative situation. And by the way, she got the yoga inspiration from me, I said it! My bad. lol. But really,glad you shrugged whoever that person is off. The internet allows for people to get pretty bold.

    2. I am a writer, yogi, seeker, asker of questions, lover of people, old soul, high energy, unorganized, imperfect (and fine with it), haver of dance parties while doing dishes, open, smart, learning, daydreamer, and more, but perhaps not right now. 🙂

    3. Love you girl.

  • Reply Melissa Nuytten Noguchi October 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    I am strong, playful, serious, moody, loving, loyal, passionate, curious, impatient, patient, determined, a friend, a daughter, a granddaughter, a wife, a teacher, a student, a music-lover, an explorer, an Apple and Facebook junkie, enthusiastic, a little lazy, a housework-hater, a big mass of wonderful contradictions, a fellow traveller on the road of life, and a hoper.

  • Reply Alanna Jane October 9, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    I AM:
    a seeker of my own truth and a student of my mistakes, a potter and clay guardian sculptor, a glass & pebble mosaic artistan, a knitter, opening my heart for the very first time in my life FOR REAL, a dreamer and one who makes these dreams come alive in the world, an agent of inspirational change, a beadwork jeweler, someone on a quest to fall head-over-heels in love with herself no matter what, a craftswoman, a world traveler, a bookworm, a possibilitarian, an introvert who loves people and having fun almost as much as being alone, and

  • Reply jamesvincentknowles October 9, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    yes you are, Jen. all of that & those & more too, are you.

    as for the question, I am just a dude who pays attention, who loves with all his heart, one that’s filled with dreams that leak out between the cracks sometimes. So, I see stuff & feel stuff. Sometimes some of it shows & maybe some is felt, I hope. If so, I can only hope it feels good.

  • Reply Courtney Alban October 9, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    I am intuitive, articulate, a lawyer, a poet, a procrastinator, a mother, opinionated, business-minded, soul-driven, strong, connected, happy, sexy, lazy, soft, messy, low-maintenance, flexible, open, obsessed with being honest, skilled at telling lies, nostalgic, sad, social, celebratory, angry, tough, logical, principled, loving, reflective, fair, sincere, a complete and total lover of life and a lover of Jennifer Pastiloff and her honesty and passion and writing and presence and oh yea her yoga-teaching too.

  • Reply barbarapotter October 9, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    I am your momma and friend and your sister’s also, a wife, a previous young widow, a long-time single parent (try being two people all the time), an artist of sorts, creative, some-times disorganized but not so much lately, a massage therapist, a healer, an energy worker, a lover of children, a mom-mom, a grandma, a daughter, a sister, a caring person, a lover of special needs children, a nice person, a talkative person so I am told, easily distracted, a pretty good cook, a lousy baker, a healthy woman, a creator of things when needed, a very caring mother, a great organizer for other people, a happy person with silver hair and a teacher to parents showing them how to do cranial work & massage to calm children with sensory integration disorders, autism, PWS and ADHD to name a few.

  • Reply Eliana October 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    I like the stuff you write, Jennifer. You are indeed “jen-new-wine”. (Was that the word? haha)

    Wayne Dyer… what can I say? I love the man! And I like the quote you picked. I bet I have a thousand reputations; some of which reflects who I really am, some of which reflects how I perceive myself or how I feel about who I am, and some of which means absolutely sh*t to me. 🙂

    Let the haters be haters, I guess. At least that woman who posted that mean comment appears to aspire becoming a better person. At least she surrounds herself with awesome quotes that perhaps she hopes to live up to someday. I’ll give her that. 😛

    As I said in another post (the one you asked us to describe ourselves), I am a walking contradiction. I’m strong, confident, and sure of myself… but then I’m not – at all. I am compassionate, understanding and forviging towards others… but then I’m not like that towards myself – at all.

    The one thing that never changes about me, since I became pregnant with my daughter many moons ago, is that I am the best mom that I could possibly be. Even though I’ve changed a great deal over the years, and contradict myself on a daily basis, of course, the constant is that I change all the time just to be a better mother.
    I am a free-spirit, someone who was always spontaneous and absolutely hated plans or routines, for example. Today, I fully embrace routine, stabiility, predictability, and what I would’ve perceived as “boring”. All of this because that is what my child seemed to need from me. That is what she thrived on. Especially because on her father side, things were a bit more complicated.

    Now that the contradiction cat is out of the bag, let’s see what else makes me who I am. I am also intuitive, empathetic, healer, airhead (who has ADHD, for those who love a diagnosis :P), terrible cook, hopeless romantic, realist (yep, that combo sucks haha), loyal, honest to a fault, direct, kind, sometimes too direct so that I’m not as kind. Gosh, the more I write, the more I think it might have been easier to write what I am not! 😛

    Thanks for always making me think, Jen. I don’t care what anyone else says, you inspired me. <3

  • Reply AshtangAlmu October 9, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    I am determined…to be the best person I can to myself and to others, I am…content to have made a conscious decision to be loving. I am sometimes distracted from that…I am the sum of all my mistakes and successes, I am in awe of life, I am a proud mother…I am a loving soul, I am here, I am now and…I am glad to have met you “inspirational yoga woman”

  • Reply Annoying & Superficial « What I see, what I feel, what I'd like to see… October 10, 2012 at 5:03 am

    […] story at:  Annoying & Superficial. « The Manifest-Station. Rate this:If you <3 this please share it!Like this:LikeBe the first to like this. Category : […]

  • Reply Erin Terese October 10, 2012 at 7:55 am

    I am motivated, driven, lost, found, compassionate, empathetic, a good listener, a talker, a truth speaker, authentic, a lover of nature, a lover of travel, a lover of people, a lover of bustling cities, a lover in general, a singer, a writer, overly analytical, able to enjoy simple joys, happy, on my path, connected to the universe, open, willing and able, emotional, sensitive, strong, capable, unique, confident, human, a soul, a concoction of human and soul and universe, unsure I know everything about me and happy about that, passionate about today, excited for tomorrow, thrilled to see where this path I am on is going.

    Great post! xo

  • Reply Scion Raphaella Mangundayao October 10, 2012 at 8:26 am

    The girl was probably PMSing and didn’t think first before commenting 🙂 Some people on the internet tend forget that they are communicating with actual human beings and not just their computer so they can get pretty insensitive. It’s good that you don’t take those things personally. It’s not our task to please everyone anyway 🙂

  • Reply Elise Ballard October 10, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I heart you, tribe member Jenny P, and I AM excited for your book and to see you soon!! (and am hoping you feel better!! yay, iPhone, iPad, yummy desserts – especially chocolate ones, romantic interludes, rockin’ out, dancing like nobody’s business, amazon, DVRs, fashion mags (as well as ones with ‘real’ articles), heart to heart conversations, and good old-fashioned L.O.V.E. — in whatever form it is expressed!!) Woohoo! rock it and have a wonderful day, my beautiful friend! xoxo

  • Reply Leah Cevoli October 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm


    Thank you for this.

    Yesterday, I received an email from a woman who I cut out of my life 2 years after receiving numerous hurtful emails from her.

    The email yesterday was a very passive-aggressive invitation to attend a get together she was organizing with “old friends”.

    I was contemplating how to respond, and my best-friend of 25 years said, “Will there be anyone there that a) you can’t call up yourself and visit with them or b) anyone that when you think of gives you warm fuzzies.

    The answer was no.

    I won’t be responding to the invite. She is not part of my tribe.

    I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, a romantic, free-spirit, connector, healer, intuitive, actor, host, poet, writer, lover of yoga, road-trips, roller coasters, and scary movies.


  • Reply epyogamag October 11, 2012 at 3:05 am

    Oh gosh. And just when I wake up thinking I’m going crazy for living and thinking the way I’m thinking… I find this!! Thank you, thank you! Thank you for being real, thank you for loving yoga and wine and coffee!!! Oh gosh thank you for being absurd and letting me know I’m not alone in this. You have raised me up this morning. 🙂

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