Inspiration, my book

The Yes Within You.

November 12, 2012

We write to remember.

Perhaps that’s why I never kept a journal, why I never wrote things down. I didn’t want to remember. Why now as I sit down to write this book which has been gnawing at every gnawable part of me, I am berating myself for not remembering the details. How could I not have kept journals? How will I remember what I need to say? I can’t even remember to meet someone for lunch.

This is how: I will dig deep in my imagination, into the Cave of Remembering so I can share with you any insight I have as to how I have transformed my life, in both little ways, and very very big ways. In all the ways I can describe from my memory and all the ways I can allow myself to admit to.

This journey hasn’t always been pleasant, as most of us know when it comes to journeys. Sometimes long and arduous and filled with sketchy characters and other times free of turbulence and sprinkled with long wine-filled dinners and belly laughs. We also know this about journeys: some go as planned and some suck because your passport gets lost and you miss the train or the plane and your boyfriend dumps you before the trip even starts.

As I begin to write this book I think about what inspires me. What it really feels like to be inspired. The sensations in my body, the way my skin feels hot and my heart becomes a train in my chest. The way I sweat just on my upper lip and I feel as if I drank two espressos.

I am inspired by the human spirit. By people who have overcome adversity of some sort. By the triumph of will. By grace and by possibility. By struggle. By art. By connection. By loss. By love. By touch. By sadness. By death. By laughter.

Perhaps we are all inspired by these things. Why when we see someone with no legs win a race or someone with a fatal disease face the day with an attitude we could only dream of possessing, it makes us want to jump up and down and reclaim our humanness. Yes, yes I am part of that race! I belong to humankind that produces stories such as these!

On some level, we all are up against something. Some people have a leg that has been amputated, some have a baby who is dying, some have a rare genetic syndrome or are deaf, some just feel very lost in a sea of people who know what they want or pretend to know what they want. Some can’t make up their mind even when it comes to whether they want salmon or pizza.

I recognize that quality, that Yes in a person when life should be screaming No. We want to be part of that Yes. We want to be reminded that the Yes is within us.

 

By Jenni Young of course.

 

I had no idea a few years ago that I would ever be seen as “inspiring” as some of you have lovingly said. (It’s still very surreal.) I had no idea that I wouldn’t be taking orders for eggs for the rest of my life. I am not sure what else to call myself, and frankly, it doesn’t matter what I call myself. I gave that notion up recently.

The constant naming of things. The calling of this or that and how much weight we give each particular name. The notion that it actually matters what we do for work, that it defines us in some way. The notion that who I was when I was a waitress is any different than who I am now. I had no idea back then when I was serving veggie burgers that a few years later I would be sharing my story with the world and traveling with it. That I would be helping young girls overcome eating disorders or connecting with other people who were hard of hearing.

What I am saying is: I had no idea I would become a vehicle for hope.

We all have that potential within us. To be vehicles. What kind of vehicle do you want to be, is the question.

How many times do I take for granted the effect I am having in the world? How many times do you? How many times a day do I feel redundant or small?

It’s not always easy to acknowledge ourselves, that sometimes it feels like we are jumping out of a plane. Hell, it feels like we are being pushed out of the plane.

How often do you stop and say Holy Shit, my words are having an impact on someone? Who I am being in the world is directly affecting someone else’s life as well as my own?

Now, you may not curse as much as I do. I hope you don’t because I am like a dirty sailor, but, curse words or not, get clear on the fact that who you are being today, right now, in this very moment is not irrelevant.

You never know who you are affecting.

You never know how you are affecting them.

So just know.

Just know it somewhere deep in the knowing part of you. Keep being exactly who you are and keep being better at it every day.

That’s all you can do.

Despite losing my father, my life line, at a very young age, despite battling depression and an eating disorder and hearing loss, I learned to hear my heart for the first time. I learned to listen to the calling that was my life. I learned to be better than I used to be.

I don’t claim to know a lot.

I know what happened to me and the choices I made which got me to where I am now. I know what hurt and what made me soar with delight.

I know now who I am and my only hope in telling my tale is that you too will begin to listen to your own heart. To the beating which is whispering Yes Yes Yes.

photo ny Jenni Young of course

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No Comments

  • Reply Flying Yogini November 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    YES! to all of it of course… 😉 thanks for continually sharing your positive message!

  • Reply Jenn November 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Jennifer,

    I can’t even begin to tell you how much I connect to you and your words. I have gone through a lot of transition the past two years and not all that I went through was easy. In fact a lot of learning about myself was very painful at first. I say first because in the beginning I needed to be honest with myself and figure out why things were not working in my life, why I had so many painful experiences with others and why I wasn’t happy. I was alone a lot and I say it was by choice. I HAD to get to know who I really was and that took no outside distractions. I really love and like who I am and know I am still looking and learning about myself. I thank you for being YOU and sharing. I feel like you are my cool yoga friend that is going along with me! 🙂

  • Reply Chris PM November 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Beautiful post….and so very, very true! So many folks have encouraged me to write more about our “unique” journey and challenges, and while I wonder if this desire would be fueled by my own ego, I am quickly brought back around to purpose. “Hey”….I tell myself “your purpose is to give others hope! (Especially other folks facing challenges of parenting children w/ special needs).” We need to know we are not alone. Messengers of hope are few-and-far-between! Thank you for doing what you do!

  • Reply Terry Lakritz November 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Jen, You never fail to amaze me. I adore your writing and regardless of where anyone “is” in their life at the moment, you touch us all. I met you at Rachel’s studio in Georgia, and have been following your blogs and facebook. Congrats on being on “The DOctor’s” I have all the faith in the world you will not only write your book, but it will be a Bestseller. Also, keep on cursing. It fits you well and I don’t think anyone is offended. Keep on doing what you are doing. I love following you.

  • Reply barbarapotter November 12, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Like I always say, this was absolutely amazing. Love you. You make me proud.

  • Reply Erin Terese November 12, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    Thank you so much for your wonderfully positive posts! I have nominated you for the One Lovely Blogger Award. Thank you for being you. xo http://misserinterese.com/2012/11/12/one-lovely-blog-award/

  • Reply Lindsey Mead (@lemead) November 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    This is so beautiful. My father always says that a sure sign of adulthood is beginning to understand the impact that we have on other people. That’s what I thought of when I read about your dawning awareness of what an inspiration you are! Let me also say: I can’t wait to read your book. xox

  • Reply April November 28, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    You are a candle. Thank you!

  • Reply jolynproject November 29, 2012 at 8:00 am

    This is exactly what I needed to read. I especially like this part:

    “How often do you stop and say Holy Shit, my words are having an impact on someone? Who I am being in the world is directly affecting someone else’s life as well as my own?

    Now, you may not curse as much as I do. I hope you don’t because I am like a dirty sailor, but, curse words or not, get clear on the fact that who you are being today, right now, in this very moment is not irrelevant.

    You never know who you are affecting.

    You never know how you are affecting them.

    So just know.”

    It’s a great reminder to myself that I am worthy of all great things. Thanks for sharing this wonderful inspiration to all of us.

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