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dump em

Q & A Series

Jodyne Speyer: Author of ‘Dump ‘Em. The Manifestation Q&A Series.

February 15, 2012

Welcome to The Manifestation Q&A Series.

I am Jennifer Pastiloff and this series is designed to introduce the world to someone I find incredible. Someone who is manifesting their dreams on a daily basis.

I worked at The Newsroom Cafe on Robertson Blvd in West Hollywood for 13 years. Yes, you read right. One of the best things about this fact is the people I met. In fact, a good number of the Q&As so far have been with friends I met along the way, whom I served the famous artichoke and veggie burgers. When the Universe wants someone in your life, it will seat them in your station.

Today’s guest, the gorgeous and funny Jodyne Speyer is one of those very people. I had probably waited on her for 10 years. (A side note: because of my hearing problem I always thought her name was Jody. Literally until we became Facebook friends a few years back. Please, I beg of you, if I am calling you Sue, and your name is Sarah, TELL ME!)

I always have thought Jodyne was funny, but, it wasn’t until I started reading her writing that I realized just how powerful and poignant she was. Funny yes, but also brave and sensitive and honest. I am honored she is with us here today. I recently read a piece of hers on the Huffington Post which prompted me to reach out.

In another life, we would have been sisters. In this life, I am happy to call her Friend. 

She is the author of the book, Dump ‘Em: How To Break Up With Anyone From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser, featured on: The View, Good Morning America, Rachael Ray, The Bonnie Hunt Show, The Early Show, TIME Magazine, USA TODAY, The Guardian, Fitness Magazine as well as hundreds of other local TV and radio stations worldwide. She has helped thousands of people speak up for themselves to get what they want by being direct and honest in how they communicate. Jodyne empowers men and women alike through her one-on-one and group coaching, as well as her lectures and seminars. She’s also a contributor to The Huffington Post.

So, you can see why I asked her to sit down with me today. She empowers people to manifest what they want in life.

Without further ado, the amazing Jodyne.

PS, get her book, kids. It’s that good.

She manifested a bestseller!

Jodyne Speyer

Jennifer Pastiloff: What are you most proud to have manifested in your life?

Jodyne Speyer: The check I got from Harper Collins for my book Dump ‘Em. It was more about what the check represented. As a writer you always dream that one day someone other than you mother will acknowledge your writing. Oh, and by the way, thanks mom! Even when Harper Collins put an offer in on my book, I still didn’t fully grasp that I was going to get paid to write it, or that anyone would actually be reading it. There was something so powerful about having that check in my hand and walking to the bank to deposit it. I remember I was at the Bank of America on Broadway and 53rd St. in New York and I told a complete stranger in line that I was cashing my first check as a writer. He couldn’t care any less, but it didn’t matter because I knew I had achieved something great.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What’s the greatest lesson that you have learned from being a writer?

Jodyne SpeyerThat everyone has a story. You just have to listen.

Jennifer Pastiloff: Who has been your greatest teacher?

Jodyne Speyer:  My grandmother. The woman survived Auschwitz, yet loved life, people and laughter. She survived the concentration camps because she had a son, my birth father, who she knew she had to return to. She taught me that when there’s a will, there’s a way. That nothing is impossible, and that laughter will get you through anything.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I loved the piece about the “other woman” in The Huffington Post. Can you share a little about that for those that haven’t read it? Click here to read.

Jodyne Speyer: I always wanted to write a story about the woman who my father left my mother for. When people talk about the other woman they usually portray her in such a negative light, and I wanted to show another side to that. In my case, I loved the other woman very much and was so grateful that she was there for me during a very difficult time, my parent’s divorce. I was so happy that the Huffington Post printed the story and was so incredibly touched by the number of other women who reached out to me, thanking me for sharing my story.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I have a list of “rules”. See below. What would some of Jodyne’s rules be?

Jodyne Speyer: The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


Kidding aside, I’ve always found rules to be too confining, so I don’t adhere to any.

Jennifer Pastiloff:  Who/what inspires you the most?

Jodyne Speyer: My sister Susan Silverman and brother-in-law Yosef Abramowitz. They live in Jerusalem with their five kids. I just got back from visiting them and can honestly say my sister does more in one day than I do in an entire year. Not only is she a gifted Rabbi, a super talented writer, amazing mother and wife, she always finds time to listen to anyone that needs her. Meanwhile my brother-in-law, Yosef, is in the process of bringing solar energy to Israel while at the same time creating a new business model, one that helps employ and empower disadvantaged communities. Last week his company, Arava Power, helped launch a solar field on Bedouin land in Israel so that not only will jobs be created for Bedouins, they will also be able to profit from the earnings. He’s already looking ahead to Haiti and other struggling communities around the world. I hope that more businesses will be inspired to create similar models, in which social justice is integral.

Jennifer Pastiloff: I teach many of my classes to the theme of gratitude. If you could say thank you right now to one person who would it be?

Jodyne Speyer: Well, today is my mother’s birthday, so I have to say that on this special day, I am most thankful to her for giving me the gift of life and for being such an amazing and loving mother.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What is one message you would pass on right now to someone looking to manifest their best selves?

Jodyne SpeyerI always find that the people who are most authentic and present in the moment are the ones that shine bright.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What brings you the most joy? Your joy list, as it were.

Jodyne Speyer: You are so fancy Jennifer. “As you were.” I feel like we’re in an episode of Downton Abbey. As it were, I enjoy a good laugh. It’s the fastest way of getting me out of foul mood. Give me a funny story or joke any day and I am a happy camper. I also get a tremendous amount of joy from my best friend’s three little girls who fearlessly leap into my arms every time I see them.

Jennifer Pastiloff: What can we expect you to be manifesting in 2012?

Jodyne Speyer: I hope to write my first screenplay this year. It’s based on a blog I wrote for the Huffington Post called, “Up For Grabs”.

Jennifer Pastiloff: Can you share with us a bit about your book ‘Dump ‘Em? I know for me this is a tough one, the idea of “breaking up” with someone?

Jodyne Speyer: Sure! I wrote Dump ‘Em: How to Break Up With Anyone From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser for totally selfish reasons. I hadn’t the faintest idea of how to break up with people. I had always been the classic avoider. But as we all know, avoiding a person doesn’t mean they magically go away. I was sick of living in the grey, so I went in search of a book that would teach me how to do it. Shockingly there was no such book. So I decided I would devote one year of my life and interview therapists, doctors, lawyer, you name it; while at the same time interview everyone I knew and asked them to share their stories. By the end of the year, I learned that not only is there really a way to kindly and respectfully end a relationship, but that it only requires a few simple steps!


Jennifer Pastiloff: When was the last time you laughed at yourself?

Jodyne Speyer: This morning when I tried to use the word “Vag” while playing Words with Friends. 

Jennifer Pastiloff ( as soon as I finish laughing): Where can we find more of Jodyne Speyer?

Jodyne Speyer: People can check out my website

Or if they want to learn more about my book, they can go to

Or visit my twitter page!/jodynel

Dump ‘Em is not just funny, it’s practical. Jodyne Speyer has figured out a way to sever the ties that so many of us would rather miserably live with forever.”     

comedienne— Sarah Silverman

Jen’s “rules”:

1. Be Kind.

2. Have a sense of humor especially when it comes to yourself

3. Write poems, even if only in your head

4. Sing out loud, even if badly

5. Dance

6. If you don’t have anything nice to say… you know the deal

7. Find things to be in awe of

8. Be grateful for what you have right now .

9. Watch Modern Family, read Wayne Dyer, and end every complaint with “But I’m so blessed!”

10. Duh, do yoga

11. Don’t worry. Everyone on Facebook seems like they have happier and funner lives. They don’t.

12. Tell someone you love that you love them. Right now.

13.. Take more pictures.

14. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. No such thing.

15. Thank the Universe in advance.