Welcome to Dear Life: An Unconventional Advice Column.
Your questions get sent to various authors from around the world to answer (and please keep sending because I have like 567 writers that want to answer your burning questions. Click here to submit a letter or email firstname.lastname@example.org.) Different writers offer their input when it comes to navigating through life’s messiness. We are “making messy okay.” Today’s letter is answered by author Lisa Kaplin.
Send us your questions because there loads of crazy authors waiting to answer ‘em. Just kidding, they aren’t crazy.
Well okay, maybe a little. Aren’t we all? xo, Jen Pastiloff, Crazy Beauty Hunter.
ps, I will see you in London in a couple weeks! My Feb 14th workshop there is sold out but there is room in Atlanta, NYC, Philly, NJ, Chicago. All info on workshops here.
So…. Wtf is going on in my life? That is my question. Let me break it down, pleasantly 🙂
1. I left my husband of a 13 year marriage, (new him since I was 11) 5 years ago because I fell in love
2. My husband was abusive and cheated and I knew I deserved more
3. The man I fell in love with- is amazing with faults
4. After finally getting divorced (because he fought it) I then couldn’t let go
5. I was not a good human. I was selfish and aborted twins because I was afraid I would hurt my ex husband and afraid I wasn’t strong enough to take care of them alone. I accepted in my fucked up brain that no one could truly love me for eternity and help me. How the hell was I going to raise the two I already had. But all bullshit aside I knew I wasn’t capable of doing it. But I still hate myself and wish I could take it back.
6. I have lived with the guilt for too long
7. I birthed an amazing crazy human boy two years later that changed my life for ever
8. I still do not forgive myself for my abortion of the twins
9. I have made so many life changes. I have begun to live my life the way I want. Healthier. More peace. More quiet. More everything
10. Why am I still searching? Why am I still afraid? Why can’t I let go of my past and love and live in this moment?!?!
Sooooo… Wtf Is wrong with me? Why can’t I let myself be happy??? Why am I always afraid of really living and enjoying and seriously just being?