Dear Manifesters, today’s guest post is by the lovely Anna Guest-Jelley, founder of Curvy Yoga.
From the Curvy Yoga site:
Curvy Yoga is about living in your body – plain and simple. (Except that, it’s totally not.)
As someone who has been on 65 diets in my life, I actually find embodiment, or really getting grounded and listening to that inner voice, to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it’s also the most transformative (notice I didn’t put that in past tense – the process is very much ongoing!).
Having dealt with a serious eating disorder myself, I found it refreshing to see someone so honest out there in the yoga world in regards to body image, weight, and the process of learning to love oneself. Anna’s voice spoke to me so loudly that I asked her to guest post. I found myself constantly drawn to her so it seemed fitting that she be a part of the Manifestation Station.
It’s a brilliant essay and the timing is impeccable as she speaks about why she, at first, was skeptical of “manifesting”. Just yesterday, at lunch with a friend, he told me of someone who was critiquing “manifesting and the whole trend of manifesting.” I semi-laughed as I thought to myself “There is a trend? Is it ‘trending’ on Twitter?” I simply know it is a word I found helpful to embody what it is that I am doing in my own life so I named my company that and am attempting to share it with whoever is interested. If it is a trend, well, better that than texting and driving, Ugg boots or botox.
Enjoy Anna’s essay and be inspired to live in your own body and embody your own truth.
The Magic From Within by Anna Guest-Jelley.
I’m just gonna be honest. Until recently, I thought manifesting was a crock of you-know-what (feel free to fill in the blank here with your favorite expletive because, well, I’ve probably used them all).
The reason why I didn’t believe in manifesting? I believed in something else.
Hard f’ing work.
I really do kind of hate to admit this now, but whenever I used to hear someone talk about manifesting, I’d roll my eyes. I did this despite the fact, of course, that I (secretly!) love making vision boards. And somehow, every few months, without ever looking at it consciously after I finished making it, I’d catch a glimpse of my board and realize everything on it had come true.
But I shrugged that off. I figured I made that stuff happen – nothing more, nothing less. My thoughts weren’t involved, the universe wasn’t involved, it was just all me. Off my own (often breaking) back.
As the daughter of two parents who value work above pretty much everything, and a well-known (at least by the friends and family who I made time for) workaholic myself, I just couldn’t believe there was any more to life than working it out. All of it.
Bitten in the Butt
That is, of course, until I was forced to come to terms with two things simultaneously – how all my hard work was killing me (pretty literally) and how I had slowly and gently begun to set intentions that were seeping their way, wordlessly, into my life.
Here’s how it went down – first about the work: I was working a busy-scheduled, always-politicking, constant-“emergency” kind of job. And my health spiraled down. And down. And down. I got to the point where I wasn’t sure what it felt like to not be anxious. I had to start wearing a nightguard I was grinding my teeth so much. By some miracle, I took a deep exhalation one day and realized that I was holding so much tension in my belly, as though guarding against life, that my stomach was hard like a brick – and not in an abs-of-steel kind of way.
I eventually realized that continuing to work this job would mean (a) becoming a person who I hated and (b) dying young. So I chose Option C: quitting. And I did. And wouldn’t you know it? My jaw released its death grip in a week or less. I remembered what it felt like to digest my food well. And I was able to wake up without butterflies in my belly.
Taking the Credit
I’d really, really like to be able to take the credit for making this bold decision. But alas, I really can’t. The reason I was able to do it was because for about a year (again, totally secretly!), I’d had that change on my vision board, and I’d been quietly, internally setting things in motion to be able to feel okay with doing it.
Because the me from a year before? There’s no way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks that she could have released a “good” job with a steady salary and benefits. Even if the alternative was bleak.
But the me from right now? After working with my thoughts, and putting out the intention and doing the internal and external work to support it? Yeah, I was ready to make the leap.
And what I realize now is that, while I’d always dismissed manifestation as too magical for my liking, I forgot how the real magic comes from within.
Anna Guest-Jelley is the Founder of Curvy Yoga, where she writes and teaches about yoga and embodiment as the foundations of a live well-lived (and body well-loved). She is also the co-teacher of 30 Days of Curvy Yoga, a course on crafting a yoga practice for your unique body and needs. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.