Jennifer Pastiloff, Beauty Hunter, is a writer and yoga teacher living with her husband in Los Angeles and soon to be son, when she’s not on an airplane. She travels the world with her Manifestation Retreats/Workshops On Being Human- a hybrid of yoga, writing, sharing out loud, and occasionally a dance party, as well as a workshop for young women called "Girl Power: You Are Enough."
It's an experience that has been described as NOT "woo-woo,", heart-mending and sometimes messy- just like life. You do not have to be a good yogi, or writer. Just a human being with a body. Jen has been featured on Good Morning America, New York Magazine, CBS News and more for her unique style of teaching. She studied poetry and writing at NYU and Bucknell University and is currently finishing her first book and is represented by Adriann Ranta at Foundry Media. She tweets/instagrams at @jenpastiloff.
I’m afraid of leaving a day job that I feel I’ve been in too long; afraid of making the leap into doing just what it is I’m passionate about…afraid that I will fail miserably at that leap and will be financially unstable. Afraid that I am a disappointment to the man that I love.
Jen, you are just so awesome! Thank you for liking my post today.
I am starting on my journey into the life of my dreams as an entrepreneur. My first formal week started Sunday and I am Scared Shit-less (a swear word in honor of you – smile) that I will not be able to do both my full-time job and my get blogging business – to the level I want and at the speed I want to grow it!
Other fear – keeping up my running, yoga, mediation and mothering. My partner and my son are waiting for me at the park now! Still have a run, yoga and meditation to do today! One thing at a time. Breath. Believe. Do.
Fear of having a baby, fear of not. Fear of having another miscarriage for the last two years. Fear of living in constant anger that a baby was ‘stolen’ from me. Fear has been running my life for two years and one month. I hear you, sister.
So, I am sitting here listening to these videos on my lap top with earphones in, while my 6 year old is playing next to me. She saw you talking and came over to me and said, what is that woman talking about? I said fear. She said, but you guys are grown ups-you aren’t supposed to be afraid. And there you have it. I am afraid of being afraid. I am afraid that I have lost control of my ability to parent properly. I am afraid that my marriage is going to disintegrate. I am afraid that I might have been put into a situation, with the move I made with my husband to Orlando, where I will never find myself again. I am afraid that my mental health is never going to get better or at least even out and that I will eventually be crazy in the true sense of the word. I am afraid that my little girl is so angry for no reason and I won’t be able to fix her. I am afraid that my 19 year has made so many bad decisions that she will never get herself out of the rut she is in and never succeed in her life. I am afraid that one day I will wake up and my husband will be laying dead beside me because he doesn’t take care of himself. Shit! I am a mess of fears and insecurities. It makes me mad because there was a time when I thought I was getting better.
Your video blogs and writing bring up so much shit for me. But shit I have to deal with to become a whole person. I feel like a work in progress like you said but my progress sometimes feels like it is diminishing, not getting better.
I’m terribly, terribly, terribly afraid of – people getting mad at me.
My father was very, very angry at me all my growing up. His anger meant business! I was severely beaten several times a week at least because he was so mad at me. I’m almost 60 years old now, but I’ve never been able to shake this fear.
9 Comments
Love this. I let go of my frear of not having brown hair and being myself in silver.
LOVE this video blog!! Seeing your smiling face ;)!! Courage is fear that said “Fuck it!!” The other F word!!!
I’m afraid of leaving a day job that I feel I’ve been in too long; afraid of making the leap into doing just what it is I’m passionate about…afraid that I will fail miserably at that leap and will be financially unstable. Afraid that I am a disappointment to the man that I love.
Jen, you are just so awesome! Thank you for liking my post today.
I am starting on my journey into the life of my dreams as an entrepreneur. My first formal week started Sunday and I am Scared Shit-less (a swear word in honor of you – smile) that I will not be able to do both my full-time job and my get blogging business – to the level I want and at the speed I want to grow it!
Other fear – keeping up my running, yoga, mediation and mothering. My partner and my son are waiting for me at the park now! Still have a run, yoga and meditation to do today! One thing at a time. Breath. Believe. Do.
With love, Amanda
Fear of having a baby, fear of not. Fear of having another miscarriage for the last two years. Fear of living in constant anger that a baby was ‘stolen’ from me. Fear has been running my life for two years and one month. I hear you, sister.
Reblogged this on Wholeheartedness and commented:
I hope you continue to vlog, Jen…
So, I am sitting here listening to these videos on my lap top with earphones in, while my 6 year old is playing next to me. She saw you talking and came over to me and said, what is that woman talking about? I said fear. She said, but you guys are grown ups-you aren’t supposed to be afraid. And there you have it. I am afraid of being afraid. I am afraid that I have lost control of my ability to parent properly. I am afraid that my marriage is going to disintegrate. I am afraid that I might have been put into a situation, with the move I made with my husband to Orlando, where I will never find myself again. I am afraid that my mental health is never going to get better or at least even out and that I will eventually be crazy in the true sense of the word. I am afraid that my little girl is so angry for no reason and I won’t be able to fix her. I am afraid that my 19 year has made so many bad decisions that she will never get herself out of the rut she is in and never succeed in her life. I am afraid that one day I will wake up and my husband will be laying dead beside me because he doesn’t take care of himself. Shit! I am a mess of fears and insecurities. It makes me mad because there was a time when I thought I was getting better.
Your video blogs and writing bring up so much shit for me. But shit I have to deal with to become a whole person. I feel like a work in progress like you said but my progress sometimes feels like it is diminishing, not getting better.
Reblogged this on Body Karma and commented:
I. LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH.
I’m terribly, terribly, terribly afraid of – people getting mad at me.
My father was very, very angry at me all my growing up. His anger meant business! I was severely beaten several times a week at least because he was so mad at me. I’m almost 60 years old now, but I’ve never been able to shake this fear.