Yesterday as I was on my way to have a coaching session with the incomparable Frank Gjata I got pulled over.
“FOLLOWING OUR BLISS IS THE DESTINATION.”
– Frank Gjata
The cop didn’t like that when I told him that was my destination and thus explained why I had been speeding.
Where you going? Bliss! I’m in a hurry to get there, Officer. Please!
Ok, I didn’t really say that. I did beg and cry. A lot. It didn’t work. I got the speeding ticket.
Imagine the irony that I am on my way to my very own life changing moment sesh and I get pulled over by a cop on a bike. It felt ironic to me.
Because I got the metaphor before Frank and I even began to dive into it.
Frank is the creator of Conscious Ink and Manifestation Tattoos and I am surprised he hasn’t come up with one yet that says “You are going past the speed limit.”
(Frank read: please create that tattoo, my friend?)
I am always speeding. It’s true.
Just look at my Facebook. Or Twitter. I am always getting asked “How do you do all you do? How do you keep up?”
A secret? I don’t!
I miss appointments and I forget. I double book. I get speeding tickets. Doh!
Yesterday’s ticket came at a perfect time. A life changing moment ( thanks Frank). Last week, one of my dearest friends, Steve Bridges passed away, as you may have read in earlier posts, and it was like a bucket of ice cold water poured over the body of my life.
I got very cold and very awake and very alive.
I also realized I no longer wanted to speed through.
Well, apparently I didn’t realize it fully because yesterday’s ticket was a gentle reminder that I had not committed to slowing the f*ck down.
I have committed to slowing down but I have not yet committed to giving up cursing. (Sorry folks with sensitive ears.)
I made some huge shifts yesterday which I am still processing but I will say this: I needed to get that ticket. I need to frame it and use it as a reminder that I can take my time. That I can breathe. That I can be present.
There it is.
Frank asked me a question no one has ever asked me before.
In case you didn’t know I have profound hearing loss.
He asked me what part of my “not being able to hear” keeps me “from not being here”?
I wanted to leave when he asked me this. I had a realization that for as much as I talk about vulnerability, I didn’t like to be vulnerable. Damn you, Frank!
Yet I stayed. I won’t share all that we talked about but I will share that I think you need to get your arse over to see him. (Please do not speed.)
I will share that yes, yes it was a life changing moment and like his tattoo says that I wear on my forearm: There are no accidents.
Speeding ticket an accident? Nah.
A gentle reminder that I deserve to be fully here and that I am doing a disservice to others otherwise? Pretty much.
Is the ticket annoying and a waste of money? Maybe.
But maybe not.
Maybe, if I really follow-through on my break-through I will realize that although it cost me $400 or whatever a speeding ticket goes for these days, it will have gained me my life.
I may not be able to hear perfectly but I can be here perfectly.
Thank you Frank.
Jennifer Pastiloff will be teaching at the Tadasana International Yoga & Music Festival over Earth Day weekend on the beach in Santa Monica, CA, April 20– 22. Click here to check out the festival website and purchase tickets. Enter the code Pastiloff for a $50 discount! (Please note that discount codes expire April 1.)