So many exciting posts lately! Today’s post is by one of my closest friends: Amy Esacove. Amy recently relocated to Austin. Insert sad face. I will, however, be visiting her there in February when I teach my Manifestation Workshop at her home studio: the fabulous Black Swan Yoga. Amy is one the most talented people I know. She makes me laugh when I don’t feel like laughing. And when I do feel like laughing. She is as stunningly beautiful outside as she is inside, which is such a treat, isn’t it? I am proud of her beyond words for her braveness in going after what she wants, and especially for her upcoming feature film “North Blvd.” This blog post came out of our recent phone conversation about enjoying the ‘journey’. Meet Amy and learn about her journey. Get to know her here as soon her name will be up in lights.
There’s No “Making It” In Life. By Amy Esacove.
Iʼm wondering how to describe how Iʼve been feeling lately.
Listless? Apathetic? Distracted?
I have recently crossed a threshold. I am starting to see success in something I have dreamed of for a very long time.
A goal is like a glistening oasis. It sparkles at the end of a long road. That road is hot and dry, no doubt. The dust and tumbleweeds and honeybadgers have defined my experience.
Theyʼve made me who I am.
And I have enjoyed the company along the way.
Having this dream, this goal, has been a great source of comfort. This dream is HUGE- at least it felt that way when I first envisioned it almost a decade ago.
I used to lay in bed and let the moonlight illuminate the room. The nighttime shadows of trees cast across my bedroom ceiling.Those clear, crisp Santa Monica nights would kiss me so sweetly. I would giggle and squirm with delight at the beauty of my dream becoming a reality. I was all alone and bathed in romance.
This dream, you might be wondering, is the feature film “North Blvd” which, for many years, has been a one woman show that I have been performing for audiences across the country. It tells the true story of my journey as an adopted child and my inevitable search and discovery of my birth parents. The experience was life changing. The film is dark, humorous, heart opening and hopeful.
Along the dusty road I have only had my instincts to survive. Water can be scarce in the desert.
After fifteen years in Los Angeles, I crawled out of the desert and moved to Austin, TX to make my film. I never thought I would be leaving the entertainment capitol of the world to make my film but what can I say, my instincts have never failed me.
The film is short; an abbreviated version of the soon to be funded feature film. When I watch it, I get little tears. Every time. Iʼm proud of what I have created, no matter what comes of it.
The staircase keeps going.
Thereʼs no “making it” in life.
Thereʼs satisfaction…but no real applause.
Thereʼs just me checking in with me. I find myself consoling the younger version of myself that thought that this dream was next to impossible.
“Oh honey, its not that big of a deal.”
She, in turn, reminds me to be incredibly proud. She canʼt believe how beautiful the film turned out! Sheʼs still in her pjʼs. Sheʼs still giddy and squirming with delight.
I wonder what future version of myself will be coming back to console this current version of myself. What has she accomplished?
That dusty road, that desert, helped me develop faith. And now that I am fixed on that path, I am incredibly grateful.
It might take some getting used to.
Keep Manifesting Your Life
One Laugh at a Time
(Amy sure does!)
Jen (@manifestyogajen on twitter)
PS, If you live in Austin you are lucky enough to be able to take Amy’s yoga classes at Black Swan. Click here. (Yea, she pretty much does it all.)
Amy you are lovely and I can’t wait to see your film. You deserve every wonderful thing that happens in your life.